the emo wolverine writes

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Saturday, June 28, 2014


I think every one has had those times where they used to have a pretty good friend who has just either drifted away or vanished completely. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Well, it's most certainly not your fault, I'd say. I think I've written this somewhere before, but I'll write it again. Personality is a dynamic aspect of a person and it is constantly under evolution. Your personality will never be static because it's going to be affected and continuously modified with every new bit and byte of information that enters your system.

Having said that, with so many different people constantly evolving in so many ways, its almost reasonable to realize that of course, some cogs will not turn together in the same direction. There will always be people who would have evolved -although they may appear to be static- but the result of some may not be pretty for all.

It's okay if someone leaves for you that. I think I understand things like this completely. People are not dolls, they think and feel for themselves and everyone has a right to go where they think they fit in better or where they are given the attention they think is deserved.

You might think that means you're left behind, but that's not exactly correct. You see, it takes two people to tango, or in urdu, taali do haath se bajti hai (you can only clap with two hands). And from Newton's point of view, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You might think you're stationary, but that is not true at all. You change just as much as the other people around you. You just have to sit down and see yourself through the days and weeks and months and years.

But the thing is, there are times when you have to rethink about those old days and you wonder if you could set things right, perhaps. Let me tell you right now.

#NotPossible #Nope #Don'tEvenTry

I've tried patching things up TWICE and both failed, epicly. The first attempt was when I just randomly texted for absolutely no reason other than to strike up a conversation. Of course, the conversation happened but it kept losing its "We're talking!" spark so fast, I was like "Naw, okay let's give up" and didn't bother replying when it was my turn to reply to a ".__." text.

Next, there was a third party who told me that the other person was like "Omg Catalina doesn't talk with us". Wait, let me explain this one properly. What happened was a sort of a fight where I was neutral-ish and then things got bad and people split up. So the split group was on their own and pretty happy about it too, so I couldn't really bring myself to say "Yo wassup" or anything cause that would be kind of awkward. I mean, I didn't wanna seem too clingy or end up trying to pile up guilt on their side.

Anyway, so on the request of this third person, I texted the person a neutral "Hello" and I get messages that come back like, twenty minutes later every time. But it wasn't even a proper conversation, it just went like "Hello" "?" "I said hello" "Hmm?" "I just wanted to say hello" (this was the conversation that lasted about an hour) and then "What do you want" "I was just checking up on you, like whats up and stuff" "Are you kidding me?" "Ah.. which answer would be be best?" and then there was a long pause and then "I'm sorry but I'm a polite person, go talk with someone else"


So, lesson learned is DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO WIN BACK FRIENDS WHO DON'T EVEN CARE because no one is going to notice the effort you put in, no one is going to notice how you gathered up the courage, no one is going acknowledge that you tried. And you know the worst part? The person you're trying to make it up to will most definitely make themselves feel victimized and tell themselves "I don't deserve to have this person come talk to me" and that would just make the overall balance even worse. So don't do it. Don't try gluing things back. It'll just get even more ugly. Leave it where it is. No one will think twice when they walk by the shattered remains. No one... except you.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

The Compounded Liebster Award

I love being awarded. It gives me an excuse to click on the "New Post" button with something substantial in my mind. Also, I love answering questions. There's something vaguely satisfying about trying to answer truthfully. Anyway, without further ado, I will start typing my fingers off for this post!

My nomination came from Girl in Ebony (click right there for her Liebster Award post) and then Maine Lyn nominated "whoever is reading (my post)" and because I liked her questions so much, I jumped at the second chance xD

Well, first of all, let's go over the conditions. The Liebster Award requires you to share eleven facts about yourself, answer eleven question put forward by your nominator and then nominate other bloggers. (There are some other specific conditions as well, but let's just quickly shove it into the Recycle Bin >.>)

  1. I like downloading lots of photo apps and using the same photo in all of them to see which one I like better 
  2. I prefer written conversations rather than spoken ones.
  3. I don't like being unnecessarily touched because I have a feeling that the whole world has an agenda that involves tickling o.o
  4. I don't mind hugging :D
  5. I like watermelon flavored candy and stuff, but not the actual fruit, which tastes rather bland to me.
  6. I love watching anime and shows like Doctor Who o.o
  7. I enjoy reblogging and trying to set a queue up to 200 posts on tumblr :3 (its all anime though)
  8. I'll go through tons of DIYs and never do a single one .__. sad, I know.
  9. I've been planning to splurge on art supplies but I haven't got the chance yet ;n; my MCAT classes seem to be draining all of my everything!
  10. Did I tell you guys about my new laptop :3 Oh, I think I did 
  11. I think Naruto is turning out to be an extremely stretched out story >.> I must make a post on why it is so annoying...
Okay, now for the eleven questions. First of all, from Girl in Ebony :D

Q: What question do you hate to be asked?
A: *concerned auntie voice* "Beta (dear), do you eat properly?" like heck yes auntie I stuff my face like a barbarian, it just doesn't show on me >:| (no, I don't stuff my face like a barbarian, but I don't diet at all. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, but it just DOESNT SHOW ON ME)

Q: What was your favorite conversation (with your crush) about?
A: If we are talking about crushes, they're mostly fictional and involve things like "EXCUSE ME COULD'NT YOU EVEN TRY LIVING I MEAN WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DIE ITS NOT FAIR" and then I make a new scenario where the character doesn't die. I think that could be, psychologically, called denial...

Q: What have you wanted to do for ages but never done? When do you think you'll be able to do it?
A: I've been wanting to make a decent, lovely scrapbook ;n; I've been wanting for ages, and I was like "I will do it this year. Iwilliwilliwill!" aaand... I'm still I-will-ing...

Q: Who do you miss most at the moment?
A: Well, I miss all of my friends xD It's summer vacation, so no school, so no seeing them every day! Plus, Lilly's gone to another city :( But I skypes with Birdie yesterday- it was fun and I was like, let's do it every week. Unfortunately, I can't do that with Lilly (probably) because she's in a hostel at the moment. Apart from that, I just have this exam tomorrow, then I'm planning on asking my friends to go out and watch a movie with me or something (maybe Maleficent?) 

Q: Do you believe in horoscopes? Why/Why not? Do you read it?
A: No, I don't believe in horoscopes because my religion says it is not permissible. For clarity, let me quote.

Not only is the practice of astrology is haram, but also visiting an astrologer and listening to his predictions, buying books on astrology or reading one's horoscope are also forbidden. Since astrology is mainly used to predicting the future, those who practice it are considered fortunetellers. Consequently, one who seeks his horoscope comes under the ruling contained in the Prophet's statement,"The salah (daily prayer) of whoever approaches a fortune teller and asks him about anything will not be accepted for forty days and nights."[Sahih Muslim, vol. 4, p. 1211, no. 5440]
The punishment in this hadith is simply for approaching the asking the astrologer, even if one is in doubt about the truth of his statements. If one is in doubt about the truth or falsehood of astrological information, he is in doubt about whether or not others know the unseen and the future besides Allah.
Haram means "forbidden" btw. I hope this answers the question and also gives the readers a little extra info :D

Q: Favorite quote? Is there any meaning behind it?

Q: Favorite Song?
A: Let me link it for you :3

Q: Which superpower do you want the most?

Q: What is your favorite hairstyle that you've ever had?
A: ......... can we talk about hijab styles..?

Q: Favorite computer game? Why?
A: OMG LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS ATTACK ON TITAN GAME I PLAYED. (this won't answer your question by the way, but I just had to tell you guys this). It's basically a game where you are a SnK character and you have to kill titans. It's a very complex game with alot of controls (okay, maybe not that much, but it IS more than the average game) and let me tell you, that game is as scary as... Gengar. Even worse! You could be sailing around in your 3DMG and trying to kill the titan but the freaking titan is so fast and you just have to get caught and it eats you in the most gruesome way. (I had Mikasa's head torn off once) and its just SCARY. (I screamed when I died the first time because it was so sudden). Anyway, after that I had a nightmare where my city had titans and I was the best 3DMG user, but all I had were cans of airfreshener. So I was just zipping around trying not to get eaten and spraying titans with lilac scented freshener. I cannot tell you how terrifying that was. (just google Attack on Titan game if you're interested in trying it out)

Q: Do you think you'll be very different when you're older? What will have changed by then?
A: Well I can't really say haha. Basically, personality is a dynamic part of you. It will always change, whether you're in university, or if you're working or if you're retired. It is impossible for a person to remain stationary in character (WHY DO BOOK AUTHORS AND MANGAKA NOT UNDERSTAND THAT) so for all I know, I may predict some change and actually show the complete opposite xD

Okay, now for Maine's questions!

Q: What are you most interested in?
A: I like reading, writing, trying out new things, looking at DIYs and going like "Mmhm, I can do that" and then shutting it down and not bothering to do it even if I really want to. (the satisfaction of being able to do it seems to be enough for me o.o)

Q: When you find yourself in an embarrassing situation, do you laugh it off or get upset about it?
A: I pretend to laugh it off while I secretly nurse my injured pride and plot to assassinate you in various ways.

Q: Are you an introvert, extro-
A: *cuts off question* INTROVERT ALL THE WAY!

Q: Type of person you're attracted to
A: Well, if we're talking girls, I like people who respect silence (as in, they don't feel the need to fill every pause up with talking) and its a plus point if we have common interests. If we're talking about guys, I'll like them as long as they stay far away enough for my TOXICALERT not to go off.

Q: What do you believe in?
A: I believe in Allah, His messengers, His books, His Angels, the Day of Judgement and the fact that every man will be brought to account to every single one of his deeds, whether good or bad and that Divine Justice will be meted out on the Day.

Q: What videos do you usually watch on Youtube? Or favorite tv shows?
A: Did I tell you that Youtube is banned in my country? I don't think I did. Well, I don't miss Youtube that much anymore. But when I did use it, I used to watch Ryan Higa (yus Maine xD) and random anime stuff where people dub them and make funny episodes (omg, search "Akatsuki Unlimited" on youtube, the first episode is HILARIOUS you will die laughing! the jokes are all words though, so you'll have to listen attentively). As for favorite tv shows, it'll be Doctor Who currently.

Q: Funniest conversation (IRL or text messaging) you've ever had?
A: I've had my fair share of funny conversations but I can't seem to recall any right now...

Q: What do you do when you feel alone?
A: TUMBLAR. Oh, and I come on and read all the lovely blogs I've got followed. Pinterest is next if I'm really desperate >.>

Q: Can you go at least an entire day without social interaction?
A: Easy. I am quite happy to keep my thoughts to myself.

Q: Ebooks or books or you don't read at all?
A: Ebooks first >.> (I don't like wasting my money on a book I might not like). If I like it, I'll buy it. (I bought the Hunger Games series after reading the ebooks. The thing about good books is that you can read them over and over again, so it's not a problem buying the hard copy when you know it'll be worth it).

Q: What do you think of school/work?
A: School is a challenge. Work is when you get paid >.> end of thinking capacity.

Okay, now my eleven questions.

  1. The scariest nightmare you've ever had?
  2. The childhood fear that seems silly, but still frightens you to some extent?
  3. These kind of people are the worst! What characteristic do these people have?
  4. The kind of book you would LOVE to read would have...
  5. If you had one single wish (because three is just unfair) what would you wish for? 
  6. The perfect sort of holiday would be...
  7. Would you rather stay in your own country or go abroad for studies etc? Which countries, if so?
  8. You favorite pastimes involve...
  9. If you had a chance to help humanity, how would you do it?
  10. The biggest problem in the world must be this. What is it, in your point of view?
  11. Have you ever been bullied? o.o

Now for my nominees!
Envy @ Picking up the pieces
Anna McAuley @ Banana and Bear
F @ The Fence Of Stars

Have a nice day <3

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Butchering the English Language

I can't seem to study properly. I've been flipping through my notebooks, ticking things off in my head, referring back to the syllabus to find several portions I've never even heard of. I flip back to my latop and attempt to decipher these topics from the MCAT book I've got downloaded, but then I get tired of reading and I can't make up my mind on what exactly to study. Turn your head to the image at the right to get a clear idea of the situation I am trying to portray *failed Snape voice*.

I've tried alot of things. I tried playing Dragons Blade on and off but its just making me more stressed and down in the dumps, so I've put that away and decided to blog >__>. Well, let's start by a simple rant on my MCAT classes. First of all, I have English. And let me tell you, when I sit in that English class, I feel like I am an illiterate savage who butchers the English language every time I open my mouth. I mean, even though the teacher talks in Urdu like 90% of the time, he writes sentences on the board and I'm like, "nothing wrong there, man, 'sall good" and then he proceeds to take out lots of errors and gives them all sorts of fancy names I've never heard like... like I can't even remember right now. But I'll give you an example.

W: What is the time on your watch?
C: What is the time by your watch?
W: He is more stronger than any man living.
C: He is more stronger than any other man living.
W: The sun rises from the east.
C: The sun rises in the east.

I honestly can't ever completely agree with him. And that's starting to scare me a bit because I need a good grade on this test >.> and if my barbaric English is the cause of my failure than I am super lame. I'm going to have to find a solution to this problem. It's no good if I keep thinking that my English is good just because I can speak it fluently (like, omg what if I actually AM butchering the English language every time I open my mouth?! o.o).

Next is Chemisty which isn't so bad. After that is Physics which isn't so bad while it's happening (because everything apparently makes sense while the teacher is talking) but as son as you decide to turn your brain on and try it out for yourself thinking "omg lol physiks sho easy lef me twai" and then then... *deflated balloon sound*. After that is a test period.

Basically, you get these booklets and you're supposed to bubble in your answers (bubbling fun o3o) and then you get a test sheet which you do not get to keep >.> anyway, tests aren't that bad. I like bubbling. There's negative marking though, like if you get an answer right, it's 5 points and if you leave an answer its 0 points and if you get an answer wrong, its -1 points. I did my first test ever completely (no blanks) and I ended up with like 44/60 (which doesn't look so bad, but if you figure out your actual score with the scheme I outlined above, it's not good o.o) so then I decided to skip the questions I didn't know instead of randomly guessing it out. No significant improvement has been seen yet e.e

Sometimes, I have these random moments of teenage angstyness (is that a word? or am I at my butchering again >.> this spell check suggests the latter) where I'm like "omg I'm totally alone.. so alone.." and then I'm like "Nah, whateves man, its cool"

Well, I think that's enough rant for today. I'm going to try sleeping early for once >.> enough studying and obsessing over things I don't know till 12am.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Dead Post ;n;


Anyway, I joined MCAT classes which are going alright so far. It's from 10-3 with a tentative break which may or may not be given. One of my classmates from Beaconhouse is there with me and we made a sort of trio with another girl who also did A Levels. The rest of the class consists of FSc students. To be honest, I have no idea WHY there are so may FSc students because to be honest, they've already studied the entire syllabus completely whereas A Level students have their own syllabus to follow so there are some things we didn't do in that much detail (because it wasn't deemed very important. Like, we don't memorize the number of elements in the periodic table -.-) But its going alright. I have a chemistry test tomorrow.

Nothing else important happened, not to my knowledge. This is a very dead post. I'm sorryyyyy *runs away*

Monday, June 9, 2014

May Blog Review (2014)

I thought I should add this segment to my blog because it's so interesting! Here are a couple of lists I'd like to share with you.

Blogs I followed this month:
Daisy Chan's Klassic Kitty
Envy's Picking up the pieces
Anna's Banana and Bear (she's got a photo competition going and the deadline for registration is tomorrow)
Natasha's Savoring Each Moment

Blog who's posts I really enjoyed:
F at The Fence Of Stars
Envy at Picking up the Pieces
A Girl Without a Name at Sunset and Sundays
Main Lyn at Reader, Writer, Loner, Dreamer

Here are my personal top three posts of this month:
Memory Bubbles
The Liebster Award
Five Amazing Anime Series

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Five Amazing Anime Series

When entering a discussion about anime, many people back away immediately, deeming the genre of entertainment as “cartoons” and “for kids”. For many others, the face of anime is DragonBallZ, Naruto, Bleach or One Piece, which often doesn't appeal for most. However I’m here to change your view about it by letting you know about the top five anime series that I believe are entertaining and worth watching.

Number Five: Sword Art Online

Based on a light novel with the same name, Sword Art Online (also known as SAO) consists of twenty five episodes that cover the first two volumes of the novel. The anime is in the process of being dubbed in English. The series takes off with the main character, Kirigaya Kazuto entering a game that takes control of all of your senses and transports you to the virtual world of Sword Art Online. Here, Kirigaya Kazuto (or Kirito as he names himself) begins playing when suddenly, the creator of this virtual reality reveals himself and announces that there is no “Logout” button and players are trapped in the game until it is cleared.
Although SAO appears to be of action centered category, it actually falls under the label of romance with action complementing it. The animation, scenery and overall setting of the series is very enjoyable, particularly season one. On a personal note, I did not find season two as enjoyable (JUST SKIP SEASON TWO, ITS HORRIBLE COMPARED TO ONE), nevertheless, I find it definitely worth suggesting.

Number Four: Angel Beats
A thirteen episode long series, Angel Beats is about letting go of past regrets and finding the strength to move forward into the unfathomable. Taking place in a school like setting, with an apparent monarch controlling the affairs and the working of the institute as well as keeping down rebellion posed by a group of students with a charismatic girl leading them. Oh, by the way, the students have all died and are in the school as a transitory period between lives.
Angel Beats is a short, heart touching anime where the personal stories and regrets of each student is explored, each having a sad or unfair life that they wish they could change somehow. The series is, at the same time, light and humorous with quite a bit of action now and then. To sum up, Angel Beats should definitely been on your bucket list of anime.

Number Three: Durarara
Also based on a light novel, Durarara revolves around the everyday lives of different people living in the city of Ikebukuro, all connected together in various strange ways along with a certain headless horsewoman, known as a Dullahan,  looking for her missing body part. Consisting of twenty five episodes, Durarara covers the first two volumes and is available in English dubbing.
Durarara has a very interesting and memorable cast of characters who can be easily related to, whether it’s the shy country boy Mikado who founded the city’s largest gang online, the outgoing and cheerful Masaomi who is hiding a deep dark secret of his past, or the pretty but anti social and dependent Anri who has a secret of her own to hide. Sorry but I can’t really describe any more without giving away the best parts. Overall, DRRR is a very enjoyable anime that would come under supernatural and somewhat every day life with lots of action-and flying convenience store trashcans!
Number Two: Shingeki No Kyojin
Translated to “Attack on Titan”, Shingeki no Kyojin (SnK) is only available in English subtitles as of now. Lasting twenty five episodes, SnK is about humanity trying its best to counter the relentless Titans, towering human shaped creatures with little or no intelligence and a fixed desire to consume humans. In an attempt to keep themselves alive, the remaining human population resides inside fifty feet tall walls that keeps titans out. But as all good things come to an end, the wall is breached and humanity is reminded of the terror of living under the rule of Titans.
Shingeki no Kyojin is an action packed series with some mildly disturbing violence, but with plenty of strong memorable characters. The series also looks into the terror of fighting a losing war, human limitation and corruption at the heart of civilization. Overall, Shingeki No Kyojin is a MUST WATCH because of the amazing animation and overall quality of production.

Number One: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood

Not as short as the other mentioned series, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood (FMAB) is made up of sixty four episodes. Set in an alternate world where a major science studied is alchemy, main character Edward Elric (no, he doesn’t sparkle that much) and his brother Alphonse commit the ultimate taboo of alchemy: attempting to resurrect the dead. Paying a hefty price for trying to bring back their mother, the two brothers leave their small village to join the government of Amestris as State Alchemists (also known as the Dogs of the Military). In an effort to regain what has been lost, Edward and Alphonse find themselves mixed up in a deep dark conspiracy that began from before the country was even made!
Packed with action, FMAB may seem a little slow at first but quickly picks up the pace. The plot deals with several ideas like the repercussions of war on the victims and soldiers involved, conspiracies in the government, the struggle to correct these vices and how power is able to corrupt. I placed FMAB at the top of this list because it really makes you sit down and think about several issues since the series is more than relatable to our reality today.

These are the top five anime that I would suggest for you to watch. So waste no time! Watch these short (compared to Naruto and Bleach) animes and find yourself hooked for more! What animes made it on YOUR top five list?

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Personal Highlights of May

I personally felt that this month was pretty eventful for me so I decided to sort of memorialize it. 

My birthday cake- which was extremely yummy and it didn't have any pineapples in it and it was creamy and delicious!

Went out with Lilly and Lalie with Lilly driving her car :D We went to Tutti Fruity and had ice cream!

Super awesome weather in Islamabad! It was REALLY windy!

Saw Godzilla in the Centaurus Cinepax.

Saw Godzilla outside in the clouds

I'm going to have to make another post for May though. It'll be on soon. :D